My Smoking Files

9 months

2009-05-26T11:05:00.000-07:00

I received a notice in my email today that I had gotten a comment on this blog. For a short moment I actually thought to myself "where do I know My Smoking Files from?" Oh, Duh.

So much has been going on since I last posted here. I am coming up on 9 months of being smoke free, and right now it's feeling pretty good. I have tough moments here and there, but they are so much easier to get over and move on from.
My one weakness since I quit has been food. I went from comforting myself with cigarettes to comforting my self with chocolate chip cookies, instant flavored coffee, and soda. Today I start giving up that stuff. I have gained about 30lbs. because of it, so I have a lot of work to do.

One piece of quit smoking wisdom I can share from all of my experiences with quitting smoking is that I am so much less stressed out when I am not smoking. I truly think that smoking causes more stress than it helps; it creates the stress that keeps you smoking. When I am stressed now, which happens a little less often, I can deal with it, move on and forget it. It is so very freeing. Also, I have so much more free time.

The only real problem that quitting smoking has caused for me is that I lost my drive and motivation to be creative. It seems that every creative bone in my body shriveled up and died. I am hoping that when I get my food and exercise issues dealt with I will have more energy and maybe be less depressed and get my creativity back.

It can only get better from here.

I have been quit for 8 Months, 4 Weeks, 21 hours, 44 minutes and 23 seconds (270 days). I have saved $703.41 by not smoking 3,250 cigarettes. My Quit Date: 8/28/2008 1:32 PM

3 Months

2008-11-30T10:23:00.000-08:00

I have been quit for 3 Months, 1 Day, 21 hours and 24 minutes (93 days). I have saved $225.34 by not smoking 1,126 cigarettes. I have saved 3 Days, 21 hours and 50 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 8/28/2008 1:00 PM

Right now I am going through a really rough time. I want more than anything to have my crutch back, even knowing that it won't change anything. I also know that I won't go back to smoking; I'm just really missing it right now.

9 Weeks Smoke Free

2008-10-30T00:06:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I will have reached 9 weeks without smoking. I have finished the nicotine patch program and have been off the patch for a week. The past week has been a little rough, but I made it through. In fact the past 9 weeks have been really rough, but not due to me quitting. Life has been really stressful in general, but I have made it through everything without smoking a cigarette. I've gained about 8 lbs. and I think if I get back to exercising regularly I can get the weight off. Feeling pretty good about this quit, but not letting my guard down.

I have been quit for 2 Months, 1 Day, 11 hours, 10 minutes and 45 seconds (62 days). I have saved $149.91 by not smoking 749 cigarettes. I have saved 2 Days, 14 hours and 25 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 8/28/2008 1:00 PM

Still Going Strong

2008-09-26T21:10:00.000-07:00

4 weeks and one day. I think I may be eating a little too much cause my pants are feeling a little tighter, but not too worried about it right now I am just focusing on not having a cigarette today; one day at a time.

Back On

2008-08-31T11:42:00.000-07:00

Today is day 4 without a cigarette. It's tough, but I'm trying to keep up with it. I'm on Welbutrin and I'm using the patch this time. These things are not really making it that much easier. The patches feel like I am just drawing out the withdrawals. The urge to smoke is still prevalent. I just tell myself everyday I choose not to smoke today.

Fell off the Wagon

2008-06-18T20:52:00.000-07:00

It's a term used for alcoholics who've had a drink. I am using it as my term for smoking a cigarette. There really is no excuse. I let junkie thinking get the best of me. I had a bad day; a very, very bad day, and I didn't control my thoughts and for some reason my mind justified that everything is so bad right now, "I have to smoke."
Well, it tasted like crap, but felt good; I felt like crap afterward. Right now my brain is trying to figure out whether to continue on with my quit or to wait a little until I have some more support. Support such as Wellbutrin is what I really need. I think my tendency towards depression had a lot to do with what happened today. I will need to make an appointment with a doctor to discuss options for dealing with the depression.
I also blew it at work today. I left early and my boss will no doubt be writing me up tomorrow. I lost it on a customer as well. I was fed up with people and this guy just pissed me off. I left work early (was balling my head off) came home early and smoked a cigarette, then smoked another. Ugh.
I have a lot of thinking to do. I will quit, one way or another.

Day 10

2008-06-16T18:31:00.000-07:00

Almost ten days! Just wanted to quickly post that I am still smoke free and hanging in there. Today was another rough day. There are so many times during the day that I crave a cigarette still. I know that in just another short week it will get better. I went to
WhyQuit.com for awhile this morning just to remind myself of why I quit and the things I can do to stay quit.
Work is definitely an issue. I keep finding myself telling people "I hope now that I'm back at work I can stay quit." It's very hard not to want that relaxation and quiet time while at work.
I still have a lot to learn, even though I've done this plenty of times before.

I have been quit for 1 Week, 2 Days, 19 hours, 37 minutes and 25 seconds (9 days). I have saved $23.56 by not smoking 117 cigarettes. I have saved 9 hours and 45 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 6/6/2008 11:00 PM

One Week and One Day

2008-06-14T23:24:00.000-07:00

A whole week and a day without smoking. Pretty darn good. Today was better and the best part was I got a little coffee maker so I can drink coffee again. At this point in my quit the lattes and the French Press coffee are too much of a trigger, but a brewed cup of Folgers is just right. I can drink a black cup of regular coffee and I feel great, am able to keep on track and it doesn't trigger the craving; also, it keeps me from stuffing my face with food. I have gained 8lbs. this week. 8 POUNDS!!! Ugh!
So, I go back to work tomorrow. I have a knitting pattern and yarn packed an ready to bring with me so I can knit on my breaks.

I have been quit for 1 Week, 1 Day, 28 minutes and 35 seconds (8 days). I have saved $19.24 by not smoking 96 cigarettes. I have saved 8 hours of my life. My Quit Date: 6/6/2008 11:00 PM

Day Seven

2008-06-13T22:11:00.000-07:00

I'm at the end of day 7 cigarette free. Today has been harder than any other day so far. I think because I did more today than usual. I am learning how to get through my daily activities without a smoke break. My normal routine when cleaning is to take a break every hour or two with an ice tea (during the day) or coffee (at night)and a smoke. I felt refreshed and ready to get back to work. I enjoy, or did enjoy, doing lots of stuff all at once, and now it drives me crazy because I can't smoke. Smoking made the mundane activities fun. I need to learn a whole new routine. I need to learn how to do things in a whole new way. It's a process that takes time which brings me to another issue and that is support from those around me. At least one person is impatient with my quit and feels unsupportive, and this person doesn't smoke. I guess I am supposed to just be the same person I was before and be over it already. It kinda sucks, but I am trying to get through it as best as I can without resorting to my crutch of cigarettes. A part of me just gets angry and wants to say "fine" I'll just smoke and make everything easier for everyone. Another part of me wants to just ignore it and do my thing. It's a tough fight that I am a little pissed off that I have to fight it. Anyway, I've made it through another day. A whole week smoke free.

I have been quit for 6 Days, 23 hours, 22 minutes and 27 seconds (6 days). I have saved $16.73 by not smoking 83 cigarettes. I have saved 6 hours and 55 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 6/6/2008 11:00 PM

Day 5

2008-06-11T19:31:00.000-07:00

Day 5 has almost come to an end. The nicotine should now be out of my system and I just now have to work on the psychological aspects of my quit. Today has been tough. There has been a lot of time spent reminding myself of why I quit, that if I did smoke a cigarette now that it would taste nasty and make me feel ill, and of all the things I could be doing other than smoking.
I am just really having a hard time transitioning from one task to the next without a smoke break. One thing I try to do, and it sometimes works, is to take a cup of tea or juice outside and just sit for a few minutes. This is what I did as a smoker. A few deep breaths and some quiet time and I'm back in the game. I also am having trouble with not "going" all the time. I absolutely hate to sit around and not be doing something. I also hate being tired and having to go to bed early. I used to solve this problem by drinking espresso and smoking. I can't do that now and it's frustrating. I'm hopeful that soon I'll be able to drink coffee without it triggering a crave. I may have to go buy an electric coffee maker and go back to drinking brewed coffee rather than my lattes and french press coffee.
Only three days left of vacation and then I am back to work. Work will be the reall challenge.

I have been quit for 4 Days, 20 hours, 46 minutes and 31 seconds (4 days). I have saved $11.67 by not smoking 58 cigarettes. I have saved 4 hours and 50 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 6/6/2008 11:00 PM

Day Three

2008-06-09T20:08:00.000-07:00

Day three is almost over. Right now, more than anything, I would love to have a latte and a smoke. Gum and water is not doin it for me. Sometimes, I'm just tired and some coffee and a cigarette will keep me going when I feel I can't, but need to. I need to figure out how to fix that. What can I do differently? I could probably get away with just black coffee. I would need a lot of it. I need to wait for awhile before I go the coffee route though, I don't need it triggering a relapse. Hangin in there, I know I can do this, I've done it before.

I have been quit for 2 Days, 21 hours, 14 minutes and 6 seconds (2 days). I have saved $6.92 by not smoking 34 cigarettes. I have saved 2 hours and 50 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 6/6/2008 11:00 PM

Another Day

2008-06-08T18:03:00.000-07:00

I've made it through another day. How do I say that with confidence, knowing that the day isn't really over; it's only evening? I don't drive and am at home with a toddler. I won't be going anywhere. I can't say that I haven't thought about smoking again, but I have had a very positive day today. I've been able to tell myself no, and find other things to do.
One thing that has been working here at home is going outside with my tea. The fresh air feels good and it's relaxing. I am basically doing the same thing I did when I smoked; I'm just not smoking when I go outside now.
I went shopping today and bought some new clothes. I also bought a ton of gum. The gum should help keep me from eating so much. I'd like to not gain too much weight. I have a tendency to really pack on the pounds when I'm not smoking. I always used smoking as an appetite suppressant. So, we'll see how the gum works.

I have been quit for 1 Day, 19 hours, 9 minutes and 42 seconds (1 days). I have saved $4.31 by not smoking 21 cigarettes. I have saved 1 hour and 45 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 6/6/2008 11:00 PM

Day One

2008-06-07T18:59:00.000-07:00

In just a few short hours I will have not smoked for 24 hours. Today has been a combination of very hard and not so bad. The tough times are when the family is around and I have to interact, which breaks my concentration on reminding myself why I quit. The rest of the day while I've been by myself hasn't been too bad. I have been stuffing my face with food today, I have to stop that, tomorrow no food substituting for smokes. I can chew gum and drink water.
Right now I feel very light headed and irritable. I know I'm heading in to the toughest part of the detox. Thank goodness my sister will be here tomorrow to keep me busy. Must away get some fresh air and relax.

I have been quit for 20 hours, 7 minutes and 39 seconds (0 days). I have saved $2.01 by not smoking 10 cigarettes. I have saved 50 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 6/6/2008 11:00 PM

Things to Remember

2008-06-06T22:35:00.000-07:00

Take a deep breath.
You no longer smell bad.
You won't have to share the balcony with the wasps.
You won't have to suffer the indignity of smoking in public.
You have more freedom.
You can go anywhere and not have to worry about where to smoke.
Your body will feel better soon.
Pretty soon, you'll be breathing easier.
Pretty soon, you'll be able to go up stairs and not run out of breath.

*I'll add to this list as I come across more reasons that I am happy to not be a smoker.

This is it folks!

2008-06-06T22:25:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I did decide that I would start my quit tomorrow, though it officially begins tonight after I smoke my last cigarette. After I smoke, I'll be bagging up all smoking paraphernalia, taking a shower and going to sleep. Tomorrow morning I'll dump everything in the dumpster. My plan for tomorrow is to just chill for the day. I've got my cranberry juice and green tea; I have my yoga dvd, breathing cd, and mediation cd. I also got my Playstation2 hooked back up so I'll probably be playing lots of Final Fantasy XII tomorrow. I'll also pamper myself tomorrow with a pedicure and manicure. I'll have the day to myself until the evening and then on Sunday my sister will be coming over to spend the day with me and take me shopping.
I'm very excited and a little nervous. I'll check in tomorrow with an update on how I'm feeling. You can also follow me on Twitter. I'll update there more frequently.

Almost There

2008-06-04T08:25:00.000-07:00

Just a quick update. I am noticing that as I get closer to my quit date that cigarettes are less and less appealing. The taste is beginning to be horrible and I am smoking a little less. I've also been suffering from the longest migraine ever; all week so far. I feel better today, but I am taking some pain med before I go to work, just in case. Yesterday was so horrible that 7 hours into my shift I started crying. I held on for so long and then just let go. I did go home a little early. This could be from having cut down on the caffeine.
I am also considering quitting on the 7th, Saturday, instead of the 8th. I have the whole day to myself Saturday, and then on Sunday my sister is coming down to spend the day with me; she'll take me out shopping to buy new smoke free clothes. That will give me two days to detox before I am at home alone with a toddler.

One Week to Go

2008-06-01T12:10:00.000-07:00

Photo by D.A.K. Photography

This is the last week I have to prep for my quit smoking day, which is next Sunday, June 8th. Progress? Still having some problems making time for things. One issue I have is finding the right time of day to practice yoga. In the morning before my son gets up would be perfect except for the fact that Aaron sleeps in the living room (we are in the process of finding a futon we can both sleep on, and giving our room to our son)so early morning yoga would probably disturb him. The only thing I can come up with is playing a yoga dvd on my laptop and doing the yoga in the kitchen, which would be less disturbing, but there may not be enough room. I will find a fix, I will. Everything else is going okay. I am very motivated and getting excited, also a little scared. I spend everyday now focusing on my reasons for quitting and what the benefits will be for me.
This week I'll be continuing to cut down on caffeine, continuing to put off smoking after meals, and to wait for my first cigarette in the morning.
I'm not cutting down on cigarettes for one very important reason:
The longer you go between cigarettes, the better the cigarette feels when you finally smoke one which programs your brain to enjoy smoking more; smoking is more pleasurable. This goes completely counter to what I am trying to achieve; making smoking less pleasurable.
That's all I've got for today. I'll try to update again before my quit date.

My Reasons For Quitting Smoking

2008-05-25T11:45:00.000-07:00

Photo by justj0000lie

My Reason for Quitting:

I've been smoking long enough (22 years) that it is starting to affect my health.
Tired of getting bronchitis every winter.
Don't want to get chronic bronchitis.
Want to be healthier.
Would like to be healthy and able to keep up with my growing son.
Want to be a good example for my kids.
Being a smoker in California means ridicule every time you go outside to light up. I don't want to be one of those people anymore, I'm already self-conscious enough.
The biggest reason is that I am just tired of being a slave to the addiction; always wondering when and where I can have my next smoke in a world where no one can can smoke comfortably. It is on my mind at all times, when will I have my next cigarette? Will I get to work on time to have a cigarette before I start? Will I have time to smoke before we go to the store? Will there be anywhere to smoke at the event? How long will I be gone, and can I go that many hours without smoking? I've had enough of that, thank you.

That pretty much sums it up for me. I'm done being a smoker. I would like another label, thank you.
I'll add to this list as I think of more reasons.

Progress Update

2008-05-25T11:07:00.000-07:00

Photo by Saudi...

Just before writing this post, I reviewed where I am supposed to be at in my baby steps toward my quit date. I realized that last week I was supposed to start my exercise routine. Geez. Well, onward and forward... How did I do with the other steps this past week? Not bad. Lets review what I was supposed to do this past week (other than the exercise):

Not smoke while chatting on the phone: I did better this week, but still need improvement here. I found myself grabbing the phone a few times on my way outside to smoke.
Write out my reasons for quitting: Still haven't done this yet (I'll be posting here shortly my list of reasons.)
Keep track of the times I light up and how I feel at that moment: I did better this week. For a few days I managed to write down the times and feelings when I lit up. My biggest discovery is that I smoke to relax. All other times I smoked where from intense craving, and when I felt I had to smoke because I wasn't going to be able to for some time.
Not smoke after meals: Made good progress here. I found this the easiest. The only time I had a problem was during work breaks because it's the only time I can smoke.

So this week I need to:

Write up my list of reasons for quitting
Start my exercise routine
Start cutting back on caffeine

I also picked up a couple of audio books:

Mindfulness for Beginners by Jon Kabat-Zinn

You: Breathing Easy by Roizen and Oz

These audio books will help me to practice healthy breathing techniques that will help with relaxation (my biggest reason for smoking) and mindfulness, which will help me to get through the cigarette cravings.

Two weeks to go!

Progress

2008-05-18T10:53:00.000-07:00

So, how am I doing in my baby steps? Just call me Ms. Scatter Brain. Up until yesterday I didn't know what week I was in and was being rather hard on myself for not doing better. All I had to do last week was to not smoke while I was on the phone, but I kept thinking that I was already supposed to be not smoking after meals and I thought I was supposed to start my exercise program this week, ugh. I had entered everything into my Google Calendar, but haven't been able to keep track because I've been so crazy busy with school work.

So how did I do this past week with not smoking on the phone? So so. There were times when I called my BFF to chat and would hold off going outside to smoke while I was chatting, but other times I would bring the phone out with me on my smoke breaks. Over-all, not great, so I need to recommit this week to not smoking at all while on the phone. What was the other thing I was supposed to do this past week? *Cue Jeopardy theme* Oh, what is list making and journaling? Oh yeah.... I did not mark down one cigarette this past week, nor have I written out my list of reasons for quitting.

So, this week in addition to not smoking after meals, I need to:

Not smoke while chatting on the phone
Write out my reasons for quitting
Keep track of the times I light up and how I feel at that moment

I have had all of these things on my mind while smoking; mulling over my reasons for quitting and being aware of how many drags I am taking (which by the way really kills the joy in smoking, just so you know.)

One good thing I did this past week was to think about healthy habits to take up. I bought a yoga dvd yesterday and decided that that will be my exercise, along with more frequents walks with my son. I just need to set up times to commit to it. Another thing I decided on is that I won't try to drastically change my diet when I quit. I think that may be too much change for me right now, but I will add more healthier options to my current diet. I picked up a copy of Super Foods RX as well yesterday and will incorporate these better food choices in to my diet. I noticed that after looking through the book they seem to be very similar to the low G.I. foods that I had incorporated years ago into my diet, but got lazy about continuing with. Most of them are still in my diet. I only eat real whole grain bread and lots of nuts. Fruit is a problem for me, but veggies are great and I eat lots of broccoli already.
So there you have it, my progress for week one of baby steps.

5 Weeks to Go

2008-05-04T10:42:00.001-07:00

My Quit Day is now officially scheduled for June 8th. That means I have 5 weeks. Last night I began planning and taking notes. I'll be taking baby steps to begin to undo some habits I've developed around smoking and starting things I know that will help me. Here is my agenda so far:

5 weeks to Quit Day: This week begin to keep journal of smoking times and reason for smoking each time I light up. Make a list of reasons for quitting. Look for online resources I can turn to when I need reassurance.
4 weeks to Quit Day: Stop smoking while on the phone.
3 weeks to Quit Day: Stop smoking after meals. Begin exercise routine.
2 weeks to Quit Day: Stop smoking during breaks at home, e.g. after cleaning or finishing a project. Begin to cut out caffeine.
1 week to Quit Day: Stop smoking first thing in the morning. Begin to change eating habits, e.g. lighter, healthier food options.

This should get me going in the right direction. I have a lot of experience in quitting smoking (I've quit more than 20 times and at least twice for more than 9 months). I know what issues I need to work on and that the nicotine withdrawal is not an issue for me; it's the habits and emotions I need to work on.
Sometime later this week I'll post my reasons for quitting.

Date Set

2008-03-26T22:18:00.000-07:00

Tentatively my quit date is June 10th. I originally set this date thinking that I would have that day completely to myself, but since then some things have changed. I'm going to try to stick with this date, but it may move back a day or two; possibly June 8th.

Time for Another Update

2008-02-01T13:44:00.001-08:00

Well, it's been almost a year since I last updated. I haven't quit yet. I decided not to stress over it until I was in a place where I felt like I could deal with the quitting without the added stress of school. School has created such enormous stress in my life this past year with the baby and working full-time. Trying to find time for myself and my family while trying to meet deadlines for homework has been almost impossible. People keep asking me how I do it, and to be honest I have no idea. My relationship has suffered, my son gets severe separation anxiety from his father, but with me he gets it only if daddy isn't around. That just kills me.
So to get to the point, I have only two classes left and I will be done with school. I'll finally have my degree and some free time. Once school is finished I will be quitting smoking for good. I just have till May. I'll be thinking about the date to set and preparing over the next couple of months. I will be posting my progress here. I've got lots of plans when school is over; hopefully enough to keep me busy, but not so many that I can't take the time I need for myself and family.

P.S.
Thank you to those of you who have been stopping by and giving support! It is greatly appreciated and will keep me going in the right direction.

Thank You and an Update

2007-04-07T23:36:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been awhile since I've been in here! I've been back to work for two weeks now, and I've been extra busy trying to keep up with everything outside of work. I've been trying to focus on my other blog.
On the smoking front, not much has changed. I've been under a great deal of stress with going back to work and some crazy family issues, the good thing is that I have not increased my smoking, I'm still at about 3 packs a week.
I also wanted to thank everyone who has stopped by to give support and to those who have joined my community at MyBlogLog. Thank you all! I'm going to keep working at this and hopefully soon will be able to concur this crazy addiction.

Still Workin On It

2007-03-25T07:24:00.000-07:00

So I go back to work tomorrow, and I had wanted to be smoke free before I went back to work; haven't made it there yet. I have cut down though. When I first started smoking again I was smoking almost pack a day, about 5 packs a week. I haven't smoked tht much since my early twenties. I cut it down to 4 packs a week and now I am down to three. Going back to work should help me cut down even more.

Some Helpful Links

2007-03-22T11:40:00.000-07:00

In response to my last post, where I caved and started smoking agian, reader Aziz left a comment with a link to his post about some helpful links. Please stop by his site, HashOut, and check out this article, he gives some links to some great tools that can be helpful in your attempts to quit smoking.

On the quitting front for me...right now I am trying to regroup and come up with a new plan. I'll keep you up dated here.

Do Over

2007-03-20T12:06:00.000-07:00

I suck. I caved. I need to regroup and rethink and restart. I was a crazy mess yesterday. I'm not giving up, I just need to better prepare; get my mind in a better place, and possibly get on some medication. I have suffered from depression for 20 some years and I know that I have used cigarettes to self-medicate. I'm going to keep working at it; I will eventually get there.

I Made It

2007-03-19T08:10:00.000-07:00

I made it through the night. It's now day 2. I still feel crappy. I'm still light headed. I would love nothing more than to go outside with my coffee and get rid of this feeling with a cigarette. But, I can't do that.I was so angry and feeling crazy last night that I cried myself to sleep. This is what I get for choosing this time to quit. I am an emotional wreck because I am going back to work next week, and I don't want to; I don't want to leave my baby. I'm also PMSing right now, badly. Mix those two things, the fact that I'm stressing about my weight, and some other stressors, and this is really hard. A part of me wants to give up today, see a doctor about getting back on Wellbutrin (also known as Zyban)and then try again once the medication kicks in. When I took it before, I was able to quit easily, but started smoking again a few weeks after I stopped taking the medication.
I don't like feeling bitchy like this. Aaron is avoiding me, which makes me feel worse. I don't know what to do. I'm also enduring a ton of pain right now. My left wrist has been hurting and it's getting worse everyday. I'm to the point now that it hurts so badly when I pick up my baby, or move in certain ways, that I cry. Ugh!
~~~
I have been quit for 1 Day, 7 hours, 43 minutes and 6 seconds (1 days). I have saved $2.72 by not smoking 13 cigarettes. I have saved 1 hour and 5 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 3/18/2007 12:48 AM

An All Time High

2007-03-18T19:26:00.000-07:00

Right now? I want to grab a chain saw and run wild in the streets. I am feeling so crappy, and angry. The nicotine is workin it's wiles on me. Why should I have to give in to social pressure? I just keep telling myself it will pass, and then my fat ass knocks a glass of water off the table. Then the nicotine says "You really shouldn't give me up until you've lost that pregnancy weight. You're just going to get fatter now." Ugh! And now the baby is screaming....
~~~
I have been quit for 18 hours, 46 minutes and 6 seconds (0 days). I have saved $1.61 by not smoking 7 cigarettes. I have saved 35 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 3/18/2007 12:48 AM

Hanging In There

2007-03-18T14:45:00.000-07:00

The past few hours have been tough, but I'm hanging in there. Right now I am feeling very light headed and very irritable. We went out and came home for lunch. I think I'll be taking a nap soon; feeling very tired.

~~~
I have been quit for 14 hours, 1 minute and 45 seconds (0 days). I have saved $1.20 by not smoking 5 cigarettes. I have saved 25 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 3/18/2007 12:48 AM

It's Morning

2007-03-18T09:42:00.000-07:00

Just got up and made some coffee. I made it lighter than I usually drink it, so I at least get my caffeine, but am not drinking it so strong that it triggers me wanting to smoke. Of course I woke up this morning thinking about it; I've been wanting to smoke since I opened my eyes. The craving right now is really strong. I think what I will do right now is get dressed and ready to go out. Keeping on the move really does help, so I may even get some cleaning done today, maybe. I can feel the irritability creeping in already.
~~~
I have been quit for 8 hours, 53 minutes and 15 seconds (0 days). I have saved $0.76 by not smoking 3 cigarettes. I have saved 15 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 3/18/2007 12:48 AM

Technically It's Tomorrow

2007-03-18T00:49:00.000-07:00

I just smoked my last cigarette. It's 12:50 am. I stayed up way later than I usually do. I'm usually in bed by 11pm. When Aaron got home tonight I still needed to fill out my self-evaluation for my Performance review from work and then have dinner, and wash bottles and my French Press; make sure everything is set for an easy morning. I ended up smoking a whole pack of cigarettes today. I never smoke a whole pack. At the most, I smoke 10 cigarettes, a pack has 20; I smoked 18! The wasps mysteriously disappeared today so there wasn't that impediment keeping me from going outside.

So now I will go take a shower change into some fresh pjs and sleep. Tomorrow we have plans to go out so that should keep me busy.
~~~
I have been quit for 10 minutes and 30 seconds (0 days). I have saved $0.01 by not smoking 0 cigarettes. I have saved 0 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 3/18/2007 12:48 AM

Today is the Day/ My Reasons for Quitting

2007-03-17T10:34:00.000-07:00

So sometime tonight I will smoke my last cigarette. I chose today because:
1. I go back to work in one week and want to be done with withdrawals before then.
2. Today is my last day alone with my baby and I don't want to be irritable around him.
3. I'd like to get some things out of the way before I quit. Namely filling out my Performance Review for work.

There are several things that sealed the deal for me to quit now.
1. I was stupid to go back to smoking after having my baby (Hello!)
2. I live in California, so I can't smoke anywhere but at home anyway.
3. Smoking didn't used to be a financial issue for me. Now it is. I'll be saving about $80 a month.
4. I'm tired of fighting with the wasps that have taken over my balcony. I can't go outside to smoke during the day, so why even be smoking at all?
5. I'm tired of being addicted. I do so many other things right in my life. I've never had a drug or alcohol problem, why am I smoking? It doesn't make any sense.

Having had two long quits in the past 3 years (9 months each), I have a good reference for how nice I know it will be to not smoke.
1. I actually wake up easier in the morning; I don't go through being groggy.
2. I have less headaches.
3. Getting ready to go places takes less time
4. I won't be thinking about when I can have my next cigarette, all. the. time.
5. Going places is more enjoyable, especially shopping and movies, and dinner out.
6. My clothes don't smell, that's a big thing for me; I'm very self-conscious.

So I'll be thinking about all of these things over the next few weeks, to remind myself of why this is so important for me.
I haven't figured out what exact time my last cigarette will be, but I'll post when I do.

Nicotine Withdrawal

2007-03-16T17:25:00.000-07:00

The hard part for some people when quitting smoking is going through nicotine withdrawal. The nicotine replacement companies go to great lengths to convince you that it's so hard and that by using their nicotine, they can make quitting smoking easier. I guess it depends on your reasons for quitting. If you're quitting for social reasons, you just want to lose the cigarette and not the nicotine addiction, then I can see using nicotine replacement therapy, because that's all it is; you're replacing one form of nicotine for another. You could argue that it helps people quit smoking by making it easier to deal with the psychological reasons for smoking before having to go through withdrawal. I won't argue with that. If you are new to quitting, this can be very helpful. I used nicotine replacement therapy in some of my early quit attempts, it never worked(just made me want to smoke more), but I was able to work on psychological issues somewhat. The psychological issues for smoking I'll address in another post. Back to nicotine withdrawal. For me the withdrawal itself is the easy part, it only takes a few days. I feel light headed, maybe have a headache, I get very irritable, and tired. Some people get very sick. I have found withdrawal to be easy to manage through drinking lots of fluids (lots and lots), and keeping on the move, also keeping a positive attitude helps (even when it's hard). You should be drinking water; fruit juices, like cranberry juice, can help as well. Stay away from sodas. Get up and move. Smoking is a very lazy activity, we like to sit and smoke, or smoke to relax; when going through withdrawals we should be moving around. You can go for a walk, clean your house, do some aerobics, whatever, just move. In 4 days to a week the nicotine will be out of your system, physical withdrawal will be over. Even if you use nicotine replacement therapy, you will still have to go through this.
Nicotine withdrawal is something smokers go through everyday, all day long. When you put out your cigarette you go right into withdrawal. When you light up your next cigarette all you are doing is relieving the symptoms of withdrawal. Why continue to put yourself through that?
Here are some links where you can read more on withdrawal:

A Brief Stroll Helps Smokers Walk Away from Cigarettes

Nicotine Withdrawal and Recovery Symptoms

Researchers Find Nicotine Withdrawal Begins Quickly

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor and this is not medical advice. If you are having a medical issue, you should consult your physician.

Allen Carr's Smoking Myths

2007-03-16T11:01:00.000-07:00

I read Allen Carr's book, Easy Way to Stop Smoking, many years ago, and on each quit attempt I have made since then his tips are always in the back of my mind. It makes the process of quitting easier and frees up my mind to think up positive ways to help myself.
Watch this video:

Welcome to My Smoking Files

2007-03-16T09:59:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you why I'm starting this blog. I've decided to quit smoking once and for all. If you're a smoker, I'm sure like me, you've said this often. Why do we keep going back? I've started this blog because tomorrow I am quitting once and for all. This morning I went on a hunt for other blogs or sites that spoke to me; that I thought would have information that I could use to help me. I found nothing of interest. So, I want to chronicle my own journey through this process in hopes of helping myself, and anyone else out there on the same journey. I want to provide information that isn't just about selling a product to someone in need. Obviously,there will be some content of that sort that will show up here from time to time, but I want to offer as much as I can, for myself and others, content that is free and truly helpful. I will blog about how I'm feeling, whether good or bad, and I will provide links to helpful organizations. I would love to meet others going through this and get feedback. Please come back often and let me know what you think.