It's a term used for alcoholics who've had a drink. I am using it as my term for smoking a cigarette. There really is no excuse. I let junkie thinking get the best of me. I had a bad day; a very, very bad day, and I didn't control my thoughts and for some reason my mind justified that everything is so bad right now, "I have to smoke."
Well, it tasted like crap, but felt good; I felt like crap afterward. Right now my brain is trying to figure out whether to continue on with my quit or to wait a little until I have some more support. Support such as Wellbutrin is what I really need. I think my tendency towards depression had a lot to do with what happened today. I will need to make an appointment with a doctor to discuss options for dealing with the depression.
I also blew it at work today. I left early and my boss will no doubt be writing me up tomorrow. I lost it on a customer as well. I was fed up with people and this guy just pissed me off. I left work early (was balling my head off) came home early and smoked a cigarette, then smoked another. Ugh.
I have a lot of thinking to do. I will quit, one way or another.
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